28 September, 2007

Weekend Update With Yours Truly

I think I have found my hero--not an easy task for anyone that remembers the lessons of 9/11.

Stop me if you've heard this one. A 36-year old man walks into an emergency room in Scotland complaining of wavy vision and a headache lasting 4 weeks. After a little prodding her reveals that he drank about 60 pints of beer over a four day binge.

Of course a six-month-long hangover might kinda suck.

In other news, SI Live, Staten Island's finest newspaper, has chosen it's Barkeep of the Week, Angela "Big Ange" Raiola, of the Drunken Monkey Bar and Grill, and boy is she a looker!

(Click on the picture in the article to see the rest of this lovely, lovely lady.)

"If you're sitting in an empty room, she'll have you hysterical laughing," says [her son's girlfriend Anna] Benkovski.

If by "laughing" you mean "cowering in fear, and trying to find an exit," I'm right there with you Anna.

And, good news. The Buffalo Bills' Kevin Everitt is feeling much better. Look at him go.

21 September, 2007

Doctors agree

I am positive that at least once I have, in fact, walked a mile for one of these damn things.

And who can you trust more than your physician? How about the Flintstones?

Mmmmmmmm. Death never tasted so refreshing!

12 September, 2007

Same-Sex, Elementary School Mutual Masturbation Stories

I don't have any. My neighbors seem to have plenty of them. They are currently sharing them with each other and everyone else in a quarter mile radius. (I went to a Catholic school K-6, didn't discover the other sex until much later in life, and felt guilty about it when I did. The neighbors on the other hand, apparently began touching themselves and their friends through their clothes beginning in about the second grade.) Who needs reality TV? Suck it FCC.

Until right now, I had planned on sending my children to public schools.

These particular neighbors have spent a lot of time enjoying their back porch over the summer, as have I. The main difference between us is that I tend to be quiet whereas they tend to have a rockin' good time. Maintaining the peace has involved me wearing headphones or earplugs most of the time simply so I didn't have to listen to them smoking weed and free associating. As it turns out, however, the young lady next door whose voice I find the most attractive is a lesbian who masturbates a lot, almost always has multiple orgasms, and is instantly ready-to-go when she smells photo chemicals in darkrooms. Who knew? Maybe I've missed out.

In other news,

-When you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

-Here's the world's smallest game of pong at "The World's Smallest Website."

-Perhaps the most bizarre flash thingee I have ever seen, The Woodcutter. Old news, but I'm a slacker. Whaddya want?

-Photos of one woman over the course of fifty years.

-Perhaps the cutest slideshow I have ever seen of a polar bear not eating a dog.

That is all.

11 September, 2007

10 September, 2007

More Unoriginal Content

From Chris's Invincible Super-Blog via Boing-boing.

This actually made me LOL (which probably means I should claim to have been ROTFL given modern l337 inflation).
More flowcharts and diagrams here and here. Below is perhaps my most favoritest Venn diagram ever:


This is news? I mean come on, please.

Either you love The Onion or you hate it. It is tasteless and quite often obscene, yet somehow I continue to read it Wednesday after Wednesday. It is my humble opinion that they have quite gracefully made the transition to the video age. Behold: The Ocular Penetration Restriction Act of 2007

Live From Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007

09 September, 2007

Wade Boggs

This is really too good not to share. Legendary Red Sock Wade Boggs really, really, really likes beer.

(Image: Copyright © National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum.)

08 September, 2007

If Not Now, When?

MSNBC.com currently has a poll about whether or not our glorious Felchwad-in-Chief should be impeached. With more that half a million people responding, the results are pretty straightforward.

Wouldn't it be nice if Congress would go ahead and do it's job? Representative Democracy was fun while it lasted. I miss the Constitution.

Ever seen a video of a real, dead ghost?

http://view.break.com/312640 - Watch more free videos

And last but not least, interactive flash triangles playing follow the leader.