12 September, 2007

Same-Sex, Elementary School Mutual Masturbation Stories

I don't have any. My neighbors seem to have plenty of them. They are currently sharing them with each other and everyone else in a quarter mile radius. (I went to a Catholic school K-6, didn't discover the other sex until much later in life, and felt guilty about it when I did. The neighbors on the other hand, apparently began touching themselves and their friends through their clothes beginning in about the second grade.) Who needs reality TV? Suck it FCC.

Until right now, I had planned on sending my children to public schools.

These particular neighbors have spent a lot of time enjoying their back porch over the summer, as have I. The main difference between us is that I tend to be quiet whereas they tend to have a rockin' good time. Maintaining the peace has involved me wearing headphones or earplugs most of the time simply so I didn't have to listen to them smoking weed and free associating. As it turns out, however, the young lady next door whose voice I find the most attractive is a lesbian who masturbates a lot, almost always has multiple orgasms, and is instantly ready-to-go when she smells photo chemicals in darkrooms. Who knew? Maybe I've missed out.

In other news,

-When you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

-Here's the world's smallest game of pong at "The World's Smallest Website."

-Perhaps the most bizarre flash thingee I have ever seen, The Woodcutter. Old news, but I'm a slacker. Whaddya want?

-Photos of one woman over the course of fifty years.

-Perhaps the cutest slideshow I have ever seen of a polar bear not eating a dog.

That is all.

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